Re: Kam Sau

Since I returned to Australia, it seems like you don't even want to talk to me. The e-mail reply has been very briefed. You seem to be upset all the time. I don't even know whether you are reading my blog anymore. If you didn't send me an e-mail yesterday, I didn't know that you are still reading this blog. I don't know what is going on. The only thing I can do is hoping to call you at a time when you are free to talk. But it seems like I haven't had much luck so far often catching you at the wrong time. It feels like I am losing you slowly. Can you tell me what is going on?

I feel happy when kam sau is happy.

Re: What are you thinking?

Have you ever wondered what the person you are talking to is thinking? Do you think he/she is thinking that you are stupid? Or do you think he/she is not even listening to you? People's mind is so complex. You don't know what another person is thinking most of the time. I wish I could find out what other people are thinking about me. This way at lease I can improve myself. Everyday I try to read people's mind but it has been very difficult. A difficult task, sometimes it's difficult even with people you are close to. You never know what they are thinking about you. May be in the future, someone will invent a machine which will allow us to find out what another person is thinking. Kam Sau, what are you thinking?

I feel happy when I can read other people's mind.

Re: I hate other students

I was about to do a cystoscopy today. But because I let other students to sit in first. I miss out the opportunity. I will never do that again.

I feel happy when I am the only student at the department.

Re: dark cloud

Recently, I feel there is a dark cloud over me. Feels like my career is finished before it is even started. Every step is an effort. Life is getting more and more difficult.

I feel happy when the dark cloud disappears.

Re: Writer

Kam Sau, have you ever thought of becoming a writer? Even if you don't. Having good writing skill does help a lot in advancing one's career. I wish I pay more attention in my English classes in high school. Today I was talking to a junior doctor and he told me he is writing a paper and probably need some help from other people. I will see how that goes. I hope I will at least one paper published by the end of this year.

I feel happy when I can write better.

Re: The great depression of a medical student

At the age of 28, I finally made it to medical school. It is a little bit late but finally I made it. At the age of 32, I will start my career in medicine. Finally, the end of a poor student life, or the start of another one? The constant worry of not getting a job finally arrives. Although every local student is guaranteed a job, the hospital placement basically determines your future, whether you become a surgeon, physician, GP or drop-out. With 800 students coming out, the chance of getting a good position is slim.

At the age of 32, I don't have time to waste. A quick decision is required here. Surgery is difficult to enter. Physician training is easy to get into, however, it is difficult to find a job upon graduation. ED requires many shift work. GP training is the easiest. These two specialties are heavens for drop-outs. My dream of becoming a surgeon is long gone. ED and GP are left after elimination.

After the job is allocated, will I be able to withstand the constant humiliation, pressure and stress ? Will there be hope for an old medical student who is constantly struggle with life? Will there be work available? The end of medical education only opens more doors for disappointment.

Re: Money

Why do people go to work in the morning? I am quite sure there are many reasons, but most people would say money. We go to work and we earn money. When people are single, we have more financial freedom. We can blow our money  and save minimum amount of cash. But once we have a family, things change. There 's more focus on security. That is in case if one day the main income earner of the family can't go to work, or something bad happen, we want to make sure that there is enough money in the bank account to support the family for 6 months or so. However, even we put cash away in the bank, they will slowly get eaten away by inflation. My conclusion is that there is no point of going to work if we don't manage our finance appropriately. Once we have enough cash, then we can go and do what we want. 

I feel happy when I have enough money to do what I like.